ok
i'm goin to be honest with u all:
today i have been mostly sad and indeed, quite depressed.
there are two principal reasons for this, and they are not totally unrelated to each other.
firstly, today i said goodbye to my cousin who returns to london on saturday after a month's holiday visiting family & friends back here in australia. i have loved hanging out with him over the past month, yet it seems likely that we won't see each other for at least another 1.5 years as he is largely committed with his job in london for that period. he has been away from australia for 4 years (this being his 2nd brief visit home in that time), and prior to this visit i hadn't sween him for 2.5 years.
sure, it can be a small world nowadays at times; but sometimes the thought of the sheer distance between here & the other side of the world can seem overwhelming. i always think of that phrase "tyranny of distance" from the split enz song. anyhow, it is what it is, and i'm sure the time until our next meeting will probably (seem to) pass quickly enough - but for me it was very sad to say goodbye to him today. reminds me of a line or two from a jack kerouac novel actually (will note that below if i remember).
and so: bon voyage dan - there's always a cold beer waiting here in the fridge for u mate!
the second key reason for my blue day is that my three-week holidays are now over. today was my first day back at work for the new year. I DIDN'T GO! haha ... couldn't be bothered really; fuck 'em! ... and there are only minimal chances of my absence today having any serious repercussions. i did check & answer a few work emails from home, and in reality i wouldn't have been doing much more than that today if i had gone in to work. i suppose i should be thankful at least for having this luxury of being able to get away with a no-show.
but nevertheless, in my experience it pretty much always SUCKS to return to work from any kind of break. plus, this being my 6th year in this current job, i am currently feeling quite disillusioned & over it, and indeed i am looking around here & there for possible alternatives (albeit there are not too many). anyhow - i'll survive this, as i have done numerous times in the past. the simple fact remains however: i am not happy that my holidays are over!
so that's it - these are the two main reasons for my being somewhat depressed today. there are a few others, but these are the two key ones. i'll be honest - there have even been a few quite tears shed today; it's only natural to be sad about these things.
but don't worry - i think (and hope) that i'm on my way over it already! ;-D
above i mentioned a jack kerouac quote. this is from "on the road" and i first read it over 12 years ago while in thailand:
"What is that feeling when you're driving away from people & they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? It's the too-huge world vaulting us, and it's good-by. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies."
oh well then - here's to leaning forward!
~
i'm goin to be honest with u all:
today i have been mostly sad and indeed, quite depressed.
there are two principal reasons for this, and they are not totally unrelated to each other.
firstly, today i said goodbye to my cousin who returns to london on saturday after a month's holiday visiting family & friends back here in australia. i have loved hanging out with him over the past month, yet it seems likely that we won't see each other for at least another 1.5 years as he is largely committed with his job in london for that period. he has been away from australia for 4 years (this being his 2nd brief visit home in that time), and prior to this visit i hadn't sween him for 2.5 years.
sure, it can be a small world nowadays at times; but sometimes the thought of the sheer distance between here & the other side of the world can seem overwhelming. i always think of that phrase "tyranny of distance" from the split enz song. anyhow, it is what it is, and i'm sure the time until our next meeting will probably (seem to) pass quickly enough - but for me it was very sad to say goodbye to him today. reminds me of a line or two from a jack kerouac novel actually (will note that below if i remember).
and so: bon voyage dan - there's always a cold beer waiting here in the fridge for u mate!
the second key reason for my blue day is that my three-week holidays are now over. today was my first day back at work for the new year. I DIDN'T GO! haha ... couldn't be bothered really; fuck 'em! ... and there are only minimal chances of my absence today having any serious repercussions. i did check & answer a few work emails from home, and in reality i wouldn't have been doing much more than that today if i had gone in to work. i suppose i should be thankful at least for having this luxury of being able to get away with a no-show.
but nevertheless, in my experience it pretty much always SUCKS to return to work from any kind of break. plus, this being my 6th year in this current job, i am currently feeling quite disillusioned & over it, and indeed i am looking around here & there for possible alternatives (albeit there are not too many). anyhow - i'll survive this, as i have done numerous times in the past. the simple fact remains however: i am not happy that my holidays are over!
so that's it - these are the two main reasons for my being somewhat depressed today. there are a few others, but these are the two key ones. i'll be honest - there have even been a few quite tears shed today; it's only natural to be sad about these things.
but don't worry - i think (and hope) that i'm on my way over it already! ;-D
above i mentioned a jack kerouac quote. this is from "on the road" and i first read it over 12 years ago while in thailand:
"What is that feeling when you're driving away from people & they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? It's the too-huge world vaulting us, and it's good-by. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies."
oh well then - here's to leaning forward!
~
posted by fergal at 3:00 AM
7 Comments:
I was feeling blue a bit this past week myself. Different reasons than yours. It is slowly passing though, not as quick as I'd like, but it is passing.
I haven't worked in over a year. I want to go back, but I do indeed enjoy the comfort of being home and being pure dee lazy! So I feel ya on the not wanting to go back in.
Here's me raising my second cup of coffee to ya! It'll be better in the morn!
hi awaiting, and thanx for your thoughts!
i am feeling substantially better today, and in fact just writing that post helped in some way. hope u r feeling better today too!
one thing the past 3 weeks have given me, is a deeper appreciation of how hard my wife works at home with two kids, while i am at work.
anyhow i am at work right now ... and what am i doing?!? ;-D
here's raising a big glass of kahlua & milk to u awaiting!
~
so long Dan, d u know u r missed so much!
Well why dun u go to London for ur next holz Fergal?
First day at work and u didnt go LOL! Great Aussie bludger r we? :)
Keshi.
hi Keshi ... well, i MIGHT get to London for a work trip sometime in the next 1.5 years - u never know! but then, it's always very hard to travel so far away from my kids (still - i would go there for a brief trip if work pays!)
and yeah - i guess i kinda pulled a typical aussie sick day on my first scheduled work day for 2007 - i like it! ;-D
~
hehe guess wut..I did the same this year LOL! I was supposed to be at work on the 2nd of Jan...instead I arrived on the 3rd haha!
Keshi.
You people are wicked-haha :) not turning up for work like that!!!!.Sorry to hear that you were feeling down, fergal. But glad to hear that you are on the mend. Time goes so quickly that before you know it dan will be back again. It's good that you recognise how hard your wife has to work -sometimes men only notice what their wives do when they STOP doing it.So if you appreciate your wife GOOD ON YOU!!
Sometimes being down is okay. You roll with it. People have a variety of emotion. I say, make the most of them.
As for appreciating spouses? I appreciate mine each day. She keeps track of that for me..sort of puts it into the schedule.
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